What you actually want is serenity, and as long as you are seeking it, you will never find it.  Serenity is a unicorn.

A young lady I know studies martial arts, has done both in the United States and in Japan.  Nor does she practice martial arts for show.  She practices those arts which leave her bloodied and bruised, at schools in which students perform their forms while other students punch and kick them in an effort to distract them.  Once, in Japan, a reporter visited the studio in pursuit of a story on martial arts as, contrary to intuition, a peaceful and serene art which could help its practitioners achieve serenity.  The reporter had heard of this phenomenon and had come to tell the story—though not by learning or practicing martial arts herself, of course.  She came in to observe a class or two, and she was particularly keen to interview the rare female martial arts student, so the young lady I know agreed to speak with the reporter after class.  When this young lady approached, though, the reporter informed her that she did not fit the theme of the story.  The young lady had reported for her interview and profile photo bleeding profusely from the face, and the reporter explained that that would not really support her thesis of martial arts as a calm and serene practice.

The young lady replied, “Am I not calm?”

The reporter did not get it.  She did not understand that in seeking her thesis, she had completely missed its proof.  Because she came to the story with a bias (a particularly ignorant unicorn-hunter’s bias), she missed the truth—the truth she sought for her story and probably needed for her own soul even when it was standing before her.  Because it was not the answer she wanted, she not only rejected it but was incapable of perceiving it.  She thought martial arts produced serenity in its practitioners by being a serene activity.  Martial arts do not produce calm people by giving them calming meditative routines to practice.  Martial practice produces calm people by subjecting them to pain, fear, and stress, and then giving them techniques to absorb pain, fear, and stress, to let such influences pass through them without affecting them, so that pain, fear, and stress no longer move them.  Serene people are serene in life because they are serene in the storm.  They are serene in the storm because they have stood in the storm and practiced.

If you are looking for chill vibes, you’re looking for the world outside you to give you respite from your stress, but you cannot control the world outside you.  The absence of stress is a unicorn.  The more you seek a peaceful, serene existence, the more you’ll miss the true paths to serenity, and the more you’ll fall apart mentally.  If you would have serenity, seek stress.  Seek pain.  Seek fear.  Embrace them, envelope yourself in them, and absorb them.  The more of that you do, the less you will know stress, and the more you will know serenity.  Serenity comes from within—but specifically from within the heart of the strong, those who have weathered real stress, real fear, and have learned that the worst that can happen isn’t so bad.

Perfect serenity is available only to those who no longer fear death.