“It seems like you don’t respect me.”

As what?

“What do you mean, ‘as what?’”

Well, think about it.  If a man is a skilled surgeon, I respect him as a surgeon.  If he is also a philanderer who routinely violates his marriage vows, then I don’t respect him as a husband, but I still respect him as a surgeon.  If a man meets me in battle with courage, skill, and perseverance, I will respect him as a warrior, despite the fact that we are mortal enemies, and even despite the fact that his moral or cultural ways I consider wholly evil.  I can respect him as a warrior even though I don’t respect him as a moral figure, nor for his wisdom in moral matters.  If a Christian apologist produces many works and sermons of profound wisdom, and compelling arguments which lead many people to enlightenment, but is discovered likewise to have cheated on his wife or to have used and abused other women, I can hold his apologetics and other accomplishments in esteem even though I have no esteem for his behavior as a man or a follower of Christ.  We respect sports stars for their on-field accomplishments, even the ones we wouldn’t trust around our daughters.  Likewise we respect soldiers for their courage and sacrifice, even the ones we wouldn’t trust around our daughters.

In fact, this is all we mean by “respect.”  We only ever respect X as Y.  We only ever respect a person relative to some specific ideal, usually a narrow one, related to one specific and narrow aspect of life.  So, as what should I respect you?  In what aspect of your life are you a worthy model, exemplary of an ideal?  In what respect do you deserve respect?

If you want my respect, live in such a way as to earn it.

Or, as most men have done throughout history, earn my respect solely as a threat, the way I have respect for a venomous snake, or a hornet’s nest, or a strange dog prowling loose.  The kind of respect that makes me check the security and readiness of my pistol.  That’s also an option, but it’s not what I want for you.  It’s the weak path.  What I want is for you to exceed me.  What I want is for you to accomplish something I can look up to.