The Revolutionary and the Terrorist

You have heard it said, “One man’s revolutionary is another man’s terrorist,” albeit only by the stupidest of people.  This is equivalent to the claim that all killing is murder.  It is true, though, that most revolutionaries are terrorists, but this is not because revolution and terrorism are synonymous at all.  It’s just that most people who perform revolutions are terrorists, because most people are terrorists in waiting.  (Yes, you, too.)  Most people, put to the task of conducting a revolution, have no capacity, no mental language, for constructing a revolution that is not terrorist in nature.  The only revolution that has ever been conducted which was not terrorist in nature is the American Revolution.  Shall we look at what made the American Revolution unique?  Here are some key features you can adopt, if you want your revolution not to begin and end in terrorism:

Begin by drafting an extremely polite declaration of independence.  Explain that it is the moral duty of anyone wishing to dissolve his relationship with his government to lay out his reasons for doing so that they may be judged by the world.  Use only polite, erudite language, and include no reference to actually rebelling or to anything violent. Offer no threat against the institution, government, or nation against which you are rebelling. You have no objective to destroy or harm said institution, government, or existing nation. Indeed, you require no changes or alterations at all in said institution, government, or nation, except that it will no longer impose its laws on you and your property.  Simply declare that, hence forth, you will be “doing your own thing.”  Include an offer to establish strong, peaceful working ties with your former government as equals, for everyone’s mutual benefit.  Then, start doing these things.  No attacks, no destruction, no violence.  Indeed, no real change at all, except you stop sending tax money to that government, and you begin drafting your own laws.  Establish your new government along these lines.  Write and publish countless pages explaining the full philosophical underpinnings of your efforts, going back to Aristotle and Plato.  Be sure to include plenty of Ancient Greek and other historical references, with bonus points for including original Latin and Greek quotations.  When your old government comes to call and attacks you, fight back, but be sure to adhere to all popular martial conventions.  Make uniforms for your combatants, pay them a proper wage, and conduct yourselves as a proper, lawful military, attacking targets with military significance, avoiding indiscriminate violence and bloodshed. Offer full quarter to your captives.  Conduct diplomacy; make alliances and treaties with other nations for their support.  Take out loans to fund your efforts, to pay your soldiers a proper wage and to arm and equip them.  Promise to pay those loans back with interest, as business investments, and actually do so after you win and establish your independence. When the war is won, offer amicable terms to your defeated foe, and establish a lasting national friendship and alliance thereafter.

Above all, be polite.  Just because you are waging a war for your independence is no call to be uncouth.

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